Incipit Vita Nova
by AlphaGammaSigma
Summary: Follwing the death of Darth Caedus, Jaina Solo and Kyp Durron relfect on all they have lost and gained.


Disclaimer: This piece of fiction is written for non-profit entertainment only. Star Wars, and all the characters therein are the intellectual property of George Lucas and Lucasfilm, Ltd.

Tag: Follwing the death of Darth Caedus, Jaina Solo and Kyp Durron relfect on all they have lost and gained. - One-shot. Reviews appreciated.

"Incipit Vita Nova"

AlphaGammaSigma

-

"_In that part of the book of my memory before which little can be read, there is a heading which says: '_Incipit vita nova_: Here begins a new life.'" – Dante Alighieri, _La Vita Nuova_, A.D. 1293_

PART ONE

_Coruscant, 42 ABY_

Jaina bristled as a burst of wind gusted past her. She looked out one of the many multi-faceted windows in a side arboretum of the pyramidal structure that had replaced the old Jedi Temple. She cared little for the new building; indeed, she cared little for Coruscant itself now. It was cold and crowded, and she had become used to the desolate, arid warmth of the Ossus academy, which she had called home since the Confederation-Galactic Alliance War had ended. But that was not the only reason.

No, this had been the place where her brother had begun his fall. Or, at very the least, where the Dark Side had firmed its grip on his heart.

She had been here very few times since the war, but it was an important occasion. In the year since Darth Caedus' death and the armistice between the Galactic Alliance and the Confederation, securing a lasting peace between the two powers had been her mother's primary mission. She had achieved her goal finally within the last week, with the signing ceremony occurring just a few hours ago. The war was now formally ended; the GA recognized the Confederation as a sovereign and independent state, and relations between the two powers normalized.

Things buried finally. Animosities formed not so long ago healing slowly. Lives changing drastically, and all too many completely extinguished.

Jaina had come a long way herself. She felt as if she had finally matured into an adult and a responsible Jedi, understanding truly her duty as Sword of the Jedi for the first time. And she had grown up in other ways, giving up her childish long-standing relationship games for something wonderful and enduring.

Jaina only lamented that her own progress had cost herself, and so many other people, so much. Yes, there had been many losses…

_-_

_Hapes, 40 ABY_

"Why don't you call," Luke Skywalker paused, unsure in his own grief to which his niece would turn, "Zekk? Jag?"

Jaina Solo returned her uncle's gaze for just a moment. The sadness emanating from him through the Force and reflected in his eyes was too much for her. She forced herself to look away; focusing instead on a decorative chair, mentally following the intricate swirls of the Hapan carving to slow her racing mind. Mara was gone. Her aunt was gone. She had been such an inspiration for Jaina, such a role model…

Too many emotions simmered to the surface of her psyche, each one threatening to take over. Grief, pain, hatred; emotions that should have been alien to her, yet were frighteningly familiar. _From right after Anakin died._ It was taking all her resolve to keep from breaking, from losing control.

_No, I can't follow this path again!_

She refused to give into the Dark Side. Not after everything she had gone through the first time. After Anakin had died, she had let those emotions begin to take grasp. She would not let down Mara that way. Jaina recalled her time as Mara's apprentice, particularly her own aggressive tendencies and Mara's warnings. After the onslaught of Mara's illness, and especially as the Yuuzhan Vong War progressed, Jaina's aggression had increased unchecked. In the years since, she had come to understand how close to falling she had come. She had only needed an emotional catalyst, and her brother's death had provided it.

She had let down everyone then: her parents, her brothers, Uncle Luke…but mostly Mara. She had been lost, in so many ways. Uncle Luke and Mara, although able to understand, were unable to help her. Zekk, fearful of Dark Side after his own fall, refused anything to do with her. Against all probability, the only person with whom she had been able to relate was Kyp Durron. He had fallen once, and had nearly fallen again during the war. They had recognized the all-consuming darkness in each other, and together, had worked to defeat it. Still, had she learned appropriately the lessons Mara gave her, her fall might had been averted.

She remembered her knighting ceremony. Mara had been the first to congratulate her, and any lingering resentment, if any, at her abandoning Mara's mastership for Kyp's was not evident.

Her uncle also gave her the title _Sword of the Jedi _that day, and she had wondered what exactly he had meant. The words replayed in her mind clearly:

"_Yours is a restless life, and never shall you know peace…"_

Displeased at the prospect of being dictated her destiny, Jaina had often fought against the role. More than once she had wished her moniker to Chaos. However, the Force was insistent, and in the face of Mara's death, she knew she must accept it and the sacrifices it entailed, even if her own happiness was included among them.

For the sake of Mara's memory, she had to.

"I'll informthem, but I'm done with all that personal stuff…" She spoke in a clipped tone that she was finished with games, romantic or otherwise. She had a destiny to fulfill. _If only I knew what it was…_

A Hapan officer chose that moment to interrupt, possessing a datapad regarding Jacen's in-system activities and the prospect of Lumiya's presence. Her uncle opted to investigate the leads himself, and despite her arguments to the contrary, he had insisted. That left her alone with her ruminations and the unappealing necessity of calling Jag and Zekk.

_-_

_Hapes, 40 ABY, 4 days later_

If there was any place in the galaxy where a person could seek solitude, Per'Agthra, the Fountain Palace of Hapes, was it. Jaina had sought as much since Mara's death several days previous, isolating herself from everyone, even her parents whom had arrived from Corellia.

They were all grieving in their own way. Mara's death had brought together her uncle and her cousin, Ben. Whatever rift had been forming between them over the previous months seemed to be beginning to heal. Her own parents were there to comfort Luke and Ben, and had tried with her as well, but Jaina took little comfort in their words. They seemed to miss the mark, and despite their being her family, she was uncomfortable discussing her thoughts with them. Mara had always been one of her closest confidantes. Besides, these were emotions she needed to resolve herself.

Still, she derived some strength from seeing her family come together. _Everyone except Jacen_. _He's too busy playing with his Galactic Alliance toys beside Admiral Niathal_.

Jaina supposed that, despite the situation, it was for the best that Jacen was not present. He was so consumed with defeating the Confederation, she was sure he would spend the entire time trying to convince Tenel Ka to extradite their parents. _I just don't even know him anymore_._ He's become a completely different person_.

She and Jacen had been close as children, although that had changed by the time the Vong War had begun. She had not taken part in his philosophical battle with Anakin, typically annoyed with their behavior, although in practice she had been supportive of Anakin's argument. It was not until after Anakin's death, that she and Jacen had truly begun to drift apart. Yet, she never thought they would become virtual strangers, until, over the past few months, their connection became weaker progressively before closing completely…

"Jaina? You okay?"

Jaina was startled out of her reverie. She recognized instantly the voice's owner, and turned towards it. Indeed a few paces from her, hazel eyes gazed at her from under dark brown, almost black, curls. "Kyp?"

Cautious in his approach for once, he closed the distance, his cape fluttering behind him. He looked as if he wanted to say something, but the words seemed to escape him.

"What are you doing here?" She knew their old Force-bond was mostly dormant, but for him to enter the room without her noticing? Kyp shown in the Force more brilliantly than anyone, and for her to completely miss it testified as to how degraded their bond had become. The revelation came as a surprise; and for some reason, it hurt.

_It _must_ be the circumstances._

He finally replied, "I…I had a bad feeling after everyone ran off here." Again, he struggled with finding the words. There were obviously several emotions at play in his mind, but she was not focused enough to sense more than that. "When I arrived, I heard about Mara…Jaina, I'm so sorry."

Jaina choked back a sob and stepped into his arms, which encircled her securely. Accepting the unexpected security of his embrace, she released the grief she had been keeping in check. "Why, Kyp?"

"I don't know, Goddess," he replied, his hand moving to her hair.

She said nothing else. She simply cried.

She had no idea how long she had remained there, but she pulled away eventually, albeit reluctantly, allowing his hand to fall to her shoulder. "We're going to hold Mara's funeral this evening."

"Yeah, your father told me."

"I just can't believe she's gone. Uncle Luke is devastated. Course, I would be too, if I'd lost…" The thought threatened to make Jaina cry anew. "And Jacen, he should be here with his family, not out overthrowing legitimate governments. I mean, what's going on with him? I'm his twin, I should know…I don't know, something! I just feel…so helpless."

"Your family is here. Your parents are here. Why've you been holding all that back?"

"Aunt Mara was the only person I'd talk to like this. Well, and you," she replied.

"I'm so sorry," Kyp repeated, and then continued hesitatingly, "I wish I had been more insistent…I had offered to help her track Lumiya, but she refused. Had I been there, she might not be gone."

"It's not your fault, Kyp. Besides, Ben is positive Lumiya wasn't responsible. And in any case, she's dead, too. But…" Jaina thought back to her last conversation with Mara. Again, she felt so stupid for putting her petty romantic problems before, well, before anything. Mara had warned her that she was using her issues to shut herself off to greater, galaxy-shattering events.

_Sword of the Jedi_.

"I'm more responsible than you. For a while now, I've had to deal with Zekk and Jag…" Jaina failed to notice the stiffening of Kyp's arm at the mention of her former lover's names, "…competing over me. Mara said I was using them to separate myself from the crisis. It took her death to make me realize, really realize, how right she was."

"Jaina…" Kyp started, however Jaina interrupted him.

"I know. She wouldn't want me to blame myself." Jaina still wished she had the chance to tell Mara how much she had meant to her.

Kyp smirked sadly, "How did you know I was going to say that?"

"Hate to tell you this, but I'd figured you out a long time ago." Kyp scoffed indignantly, giving her a glare that warmed quickly into a laugh and smile. She smiled in return; her first in at least a week. "What? No comeback?"

"Not today, Goddess."

Relishing the change in mood, but needing to get everything out, Jaina continued, "Seriously, I understand what she meant, and I've dealt with it."

Kyp's eyebrow rose in curiosity, "Dealt with it? How do you mean?"

"I called both Jag and Zekk shortly after Aunt Mara died. I told them what happened. And I told them that whatever we had been in the past, we weren't going to be more than friends in the future."

Jaina noted the sheer shock on Kyp's face before he responded. "Why?"

"I'm the Sword of the Jedi," she said, and then quoted, "Mine is a restless life, and never shall I know peace…"

"…though you shall be blessed for the peace you bring to others," Kyp replied, continuing her uncle's proclamation, "I was there, remember? Don't think, because your life is dedicated to defending those who can't defend themselves, that you can't be happy. Perhaps you should reconsider."

Jaina shook her head negatively, "No. Even considering that last part, I can't go back. For the moment, I need to focus on finding whoever did this to Mara. Besides…"

Jaina stopped, and Kyp looked at her questioningly, "Besides, what?"

"I don't love them. Either of them. Not the way they want me to. When I told them, part of me felt bad for hurting them, but another part felt liberated. Like I was letting something go that hadn't been anything but a memory. I haven't loved Zekk, or Jag, in a long time."

Kyp nodded in response.

"And until Mara's killer is brought to justice, until whatever Sith is controlling Jacen is stopped, any romance would just lead to distraction. I just need a friend, a…" Jaina searched for an appropriate word.

"A partner?" Kyp interjected.

Jaina returned Kyp's gaze, nodding affirmatively, "Whatever that means, right?"

Kyp's other hand went to her shoulder as well. "I know we've drifted apart over the years. And I know we haven't been good at fulfilling that promise. But it's never too late to start. From now on, whatever happens, we'll face it together. Sound good, Goddess?"

"Sounds good."

_-_

_Ossus, late 40 ABY_

Jaina stood, shell-shocked at her cousin's revelation. There was no way it could be true. Jacen, a Sith Lord? Her cousin was relaying his last experience with her brother. She knew it was essential to know everything, but she found it difficult to focus. _Not after…_

Ben Skywalker continued, the other quietly assembled Jedi listening attentively, "He wants me as his apprentice; that the pain of losing Mom would make me even stronger than him. Then he said…" Her cousin trailed off, seemingly in too much pain to continue.

"Said what?" her uncle asked.

Ben appeared as if he would be traumatized repeating the words. "I…" He looked towards his father, whose calm demeanor collapsed into horror. Trying to regain focus himself, Luke still urged him on. Ben needed to be the one to say it. "He killed Mom."

_NO_! Jaina's world spun so wildly, she did not realize she had spoken aloud; the others turning towards her. She regained enough balance to do the only thing she could think of…run. As far as she could. She did not stop until she reached her quarters, leaning against the door for a moment before opening it and walking weakly inside. She made it only a few steps before sliding down the wall, and onto the floor.

Yet again, she experienced the pain of loss first-hand. So many people in the War. _Anakin. Chewie. My wingmate, Anni. _Now recently her aunt. How could she lose another loved one? And this time, to a fate worse than death?

A familiar presence in the Force brushed against her mind. Jaina looked towards the door and up as Kyp entered and knelt beside her. He had been among the Jedi privy to Ben's disclosure.

As he had promised, he had remained by her side as the Corellian situation deteriorated into full-scale war. His presence was the one bright spot in the worsening darkness. She was thankful he had been the one to follow her.

"Jaina, I...are?" Worry and uncertainty were reflected in his eyes; emotions neither of them cared for particularly, but expressed nonetheless.

"Why is the Force doing to us? Uncle Luke and Ben lose Aunt Mara; I lose Jacen; who's next?"

"You know it's not like that, Jaina. The Force isn't out to get us. Jacen is the one who's betrayed it."

"I just don't know how he could have done this. He's was always the cautious one. He refused to use the Force in any way that might lead to his falling. And now, not only is he a Sith Lord, but with the disappearance of Admiral Niathal, he's leader of the GA. All he has left to do is declare himself Emperor…"

"Not possible," Kyp answered.

"He's the legal leader of the government, Kyp."

"So was Palpatine."

"But what if he does?" Jaina could not help but believe those words. The good man her brother had once been was dead, replaced by a monster whose thirst for power rivaled only one other in history."

"_I _won't let him."

Kyp's remark struck deeply within Jaina, at an instinctual but unanticipated fear of loss. "Kyp! Don't even think about doing something stupid!"

"Got it. Now, my arm…" Jaina had seized Kyp's forearm in a death grip, and he was wincing in obvious pain. As Jaina released her grip, Kyp pulled his arm away, cradling it to himself protectively.

"Sorry. It just sounded like you were planning to try and take on Jacen yourself."

"Well, not anymore," Kyp grumbled.

"Sweet Force, Kyp, you scared me. You really were going to try it, weren't you?"

He nodded.

"Kyp, I can't lose you, too." She took his hand in hers. "Promise me you won't try anything foolish."

Kyp appeared as if he were going to object for a moment, but struck apparently by her intensity, relented, and collected her in an embrace. "I promise, Goddess."

Jaina tightened her grip on him. His rashness, albeit averted, had triggered a realization. She depended greatly on him. "Whatever happens with Jacen, we'll deal with it as a team. Agreed?"

"Absolutely."

_-_

_Bothan Cruiser _Ar'kai_, 41 ABY_

The endgame approached.

The cruiser _Ar'kai_ had been traveling in hyperspace for the better part of two days when it emerged at the rendezvous point. Meeting the rest of the Confederation expeditionary force, it, along with the rest of the fleet, continued on to their final destination. The point of the exercise was to trap Darth Caedus in a fully pitched battle. By keeping his fleet distracted, the Jedi aboard the Bothan warship hoped to confront directly the Sith Lord, once and for all.

Jaina sat quietly in the darkened, empty pilot's mess, taking comfort in familiar surroundings. During the Vong War, she had spent many sleepless nights in such places. Wartime insomnia had returned with a vengeance over the past few months, especially after it was discovered that Jacen had become the newest Sith Lord. She was even more agitated now that the prospect of defeating Darth Caedus loomed, partly fearing the almost certain loss of her twin, and partly something else.

She had this recurring dream for several weeks, which she feared prophetic, of the final moment: GAG forces would draw the other Jedi away and her Uncle Luke was drawn away, leaving only her and Kyp to take on Caedus. The battle is joined, and she and Kyp tag-team, pushing back her brother-turned-Sith-Lord, until he was cornered. Jacen chooses that moment to attack Jaina, arcing his crimson lightsaber towards her. Kyp parries the attack, but both he and Jaina are Force-pushed away. Jacen moves to Kyp; lightsaber angled to make the kill…

At that point Jaina always started awake. Every time, she recalled, with horrific inevitability, she watched helplessly as Kyp was about to be killed.

She could not let it happen. It had been more than half a year since Kyp's appearance on Hapes, and in the weeks, then months, that followed he had become an integral part of her life. Their old bond had re-awakened quickly, and as it continued to deepen, it was easier to follow the surface thoughts of the other. His constant presence stirred feelings she had long forgotten, or more appropriately, long submerged.

She had not realized it fully until shortly after her cousin had revealed her brother's fall, when Kyp had all but declared his intention to go after Jacen on his own. His intentions had frightened her then inexplicably, but looking back she understood: she had fallen in love with him. More than that, she realized these feelings were not new, but nearly fifteen years old; buried for so long she could not remember her reasons for doing so.

And now, they were only hours away from a life and death struggle from which one or neither might return.

Standing abruptly, Jaina left the mess and made her way towards Kyp's quarters. She needed to see him, to warn him of the potential danger he would face when confronting Jacen, and to admit how she felt for him, whatever his feelings. This time, she refused to face death with any regrets.

As she approached the door, she stretched out with the Force, finding him with comforting ease. He was awake still, having almost as much trouble sleeping as she, and she wondered shortly of the reason.

The door opened, Kyp having felt her presence outside. "Goddess? Why aren't you asleep?"

"I needed to talk to you about something."

"Couldn't it wait till the morning? You need your rest."

Jaina shook her head negatively, "No, I need to now."

Kyp stepped aside, ushering her in. Jaina moved through his quarters, taking a seat at the small table that functioned doubly as a desk. Kyp followed, sitting across from her, at which point she relayed the circumstances of her dream to him.

"I _die_?" Kyp lengthened the last word painfully.

"I don't know that. I never stay in the dream after Jacen…Caedus raises his saber."

Kyp leaned back and raised a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Stang."

Jaina moved to sit closely beside him and took his hand, "It won't come true, Kyp. Even if it's more than just a dream, you won't die."

"I hope so." Kyp returned. Silence reigned for a moment as Kyp processed what Jaina had told him, and as Jaina worked-up enough courage to continue.

"Kyp…" Jaina halted, unsure how to go on.

"Yeah, Goddess?"

Jaina worked up her courage to carry on. "Tomorrow may or may not be the end for us. Before it comes, I want, no, I need to let you know how I feel about you."

Kyp returned her a questioning look, a myriad of emotions reflecting in his eyes. _Does he know?_

"I love you, Kyp."

Kyp stared at her, frozen in astonishment. "You…you love me?"

Jaina nodded.

"What about being Sword of the Jedi?"

Jaina answered, "I've always wondered what that means exactly. I mean, whether or not it meant I'd be denied those things I'd spend my life protecting. You reminded me that isn't the case. When I thought about it, I realized why Aunt Mara had warned me about playing games. I was looking for a way to escape everything that was happening. I knew Zekk and Jag were wrong for me, yet I allowed them to dominate my attention. I imagined I needed them, but I didn't."

"And you need me?" Kyp asked uncertainly.

"Yes. More desperately than you…than I could possibly know. I love you."

Kyp smiled brightly. "Jaina...I love you too, Goddess. I have for so long."

Jaina managed a gasp before Kyp pulled her close, his lips descending to hers in a kiss, which deepened quickly. Eventually, they both pulled away to catch their breath.

"Now we have even more reason to live through tomorrow," Kyp whispered, having raised a hand to push back behind her ear an errant strand of hair.

Jaina agreed and Kyp kissed her again. She hoped her dream would not come true, but if it did, she wanted to leave behind no regrets except wasting fifteen years of her life without him at her side. She stood, pulling him with her to his bunk, pushing aside all thoughts of tomorrow to live in the moment with the man she loved.

_-_

_Coruscant, 42 ABY_

Jaina remembered the final battle. Both she and Kyp had survived, but she had lost her brother.

Having had enough time to centralize his power, the Galactic Alliance proved ineffective against the Confederation, and called for an armistice to discuss peace. The healing process had begun.

With peace talks underway, Jaina focused again on her Jedi responsibilities, settling on Ossus to teach at the Academy. Of course, Kyp followed her. With Luke participating in the armistice talks, Kyp replaced him as Academy administrator in addition to his own teaching duties.

Despite whatever predicition her uncle had made, she knew peace. And she recalled fondly those people she had lost, even if the loss of those close to her still hurt. She wished her brothers, Mara, Chewie, and so many others, were there to share her happiness now…

"Goddess?"

TBC


End file.
